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You’re not man enough for me she said. My jaw dropped, but not as far as my soul. She saw right through me, right into me.
As I think back on that moment of honesty my mind races.
How rare for someone to say something so real. Soul bearing on their behalf as much as mine. These days to play a gender card doesn’t bode well for anyone.
Did she say it to hurt me?
Gender isn’t even really a “thing” anymore I thought.
I certainly don’t feel “manly.”
But shouldn’t I be happy for her that she knows what she wants?
Especially since I really do love her…
Can I change? Can I become manlier? Who would even be able to show me?
Where are all the “real men” today.
Look at our President. The office only men have historically held. Unless of course the First Lady was pulling all the strings. That kind of thing could happen with an unmanly type of man.
A man can be constructed to be whatever his woman wants him to be.
We all start off as lost little boys.
Lost little girls
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I’m so angry.
How could I ever love someone so shallow.
Anger! Angry with her. Angry with me. How can I rage against her when she has come from the same as me.
Lost. Searching. Never finding.
The girl is called a woman. The boy becomes a man.
Titles. Names. Words.
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Fear. Fear to be alone. Needing space. I need space. I need space.
Space to be a man. All of me to be. Soft, strong. Ok with being alone.
Choosing not to be. Choosing her. Choosing me. Choosing we.
Say goodbye to the man you know.