StonedStoryTime:Miami Is A Heated Place

giphy (2)When I was growing up we used to have a word for high-risk situations involving weed (among other, less savory substances). That word was“heated.” If a security guard approached us at a concert it was getting heated and we put the joint away.

If the car reeked like weed and a lot of cops were out, the streets were heated that day. The car itself was also heated. If you sold weed at school you were doing something heated. You used cologne to mask the smell of herb thus avoiding heat, because if you smelled like weed in front of your friend’s mom you were a heat up.

That’s the basic picture anyway.

I’ve heard others use it here and there so it’s not an exclusive or dated word, but as the biggest stoners of our high school we used it a hell of a lot.  Young pot smokers deal with a lot more heat than adults. Not only can they get arrested, fired, and kicked out of school, but they can get in trouble with their parents. I wasn’t sure what was worse when I was 16-17. As an adult, your house/apartment/car is your sanctuary. Unless there is probable cause no one will intrude on your illicit smoke sesh. Living underage in a home with prying eyes? Now that really complicates matters.

I’m not advocating for people under 18 to use recreational cannabis. There are even studies claiming brain development is affected when smoking cannabis before the age of 21. That said, I don’t regret my teenage smoking years in the least. They were fun and carefree and to the best of my knowledge they haven’t affektid mie brane won bit.

My friends and I suffered so much heat growing up that I can’t remember all of it, but the lessons it offered were invaluable. Here are a few of them. As I share these stories I want to offer a glimpse into my yesteryear.

Again, in no way am I advocating for underage use of legal or illegal recreational drugs – merely offering information for readers of all ages, and insight into my past experiences.tumblr_mja19xNPmF1s4dij2o1_400


It’s ironic and sad the amount of times my former deadly habit kept me out of trouble. Once as a teenager I was in a smoking circle at the park by Sunset Place when a cop rolled up. I was smoking a beloved Parliament Light 100 and holding the joint at the same time. I brought the cigarette to my mouth with an animated swing of the arm, and my other hand discretely dropped the doobie onto the pavement. The cop never noticed. He asked us where we lived, told us we should stop underage smoking, and kicked us out of the park.

On another occasion I got pulled over just a half hour after hotboxing my car. Due to my addiction, the odor of tobacco masked the pot smell and I got off with a speeding ticket. What I’m getting at is: smoking kills you. But if you already wanted to do that, it might work out in your favor…as a stoner. Use that shit.


supertroopers I’ll say it now. Driving while stoned is not impossible nor do I condemn it unconditionally. But please be safe, ladies and gentlemen. There’s a difference between a veteran smoker getting blazed and then calmly, carefully rolling down the street for his morning coffee, and a newbie smoker becoming overly paranoid on the road and driving into a palm tree (albeit he’ll be traveling at about 15 mph). Don’t be that stoner who can’t turn quickly, provoking a deluge of honks and ill wishes. The cops will come, your loved ones will find out, and most importantly you may hurt yourself or others.

Bad driving is a top level heat up, so only drive if you know you can do it well and unaffected.


This should go without saying but whether in high school or the old folk’s home, it’s never wise to talk loudly in public about your involvement with illegal drugs. That’s why my entire group of friends had to meet individually with a counsellor during our sophomore year of high school. This only happened after each of our parents received calls from administrators and then confronted us. It sucked.When the first one of us got an unhappy call from his mother it was the start of the end. We knew we would fall like dominoes. And we did.

We each got grounded for a month to several months (depending on whose parents were doing the grounding) and spent the next two years with an added burden of extra suspicion.Why did all this happen? Because one of our friends had to brag about the weed and other drugs we planned to bring on a band trip to Disney World. Someone overheard it, snitched on us, and got us in trouble. Remember: loose lips sink bong rips so keep the stoner chatter between trusted friends.

Another thing heat-magnets do is talk clumsily about drugs at the wrong time during a drug deal. Some people just don’t use common sense. Don’t be obvious, keep everything on the down low, and use some tact.

I’ve been at my dealer’s house when a naive 16-year-old customer walked in. As soon as the door shut, they loudly asked “Hey man you got that KUUUUSH?!” Heads up about most apartments and condos: doors are thin and people outside can hear that kind of shit. After the kid left, my dealer friend told me it wasn’t the first time. He never answered the kid’s calls again. Heat won’t just get you locked up or grounded – it’ll have you dry as a desert.


bcpot-1426015858We used to crush Percocets in the bathroom at our high school and snort them off of textbooks so we didn’t have to inhale whatever was on the toilet paper dispensers. That was crazy as fuck and heated as fuck, but still less heated than handling weed in school. Why? Because a snort takes one second. Weed smells all day. Just having it on you is bad but if you try to smoke behind the lunch room you not only have insanely high chances of getting caught, but the reek will stick to your clothes all day. Your paranoid musings will likely be correct: yes, everyone knows.

If you just gotta have your pot, then wake and bakes are the way to go. Smoking on the way to school/work is a far easier option since showing up in the morning with heavy cologne and red eyes is less weird than showing up to lunch with heavy cologne and red eyes.

Let’s backtrack. The first paragraph here sounds really bad and no one should ever abuse prescription pills – much less on school or work property – so now I’ll try to get positive on you. School is a place for learning and development, not for drug use no matter how innocent. It’s not that difficult to keep it in the stash at home during school, with a fat joint waiting as a reward at the end of the day. You can have both a good education (or productive work life for that matter) and a fun stoner lifestyle at the same time.


tumblr_nqn8vvSiTa1uymyr8o1_500I learned over years of smoking that it really just comes down to using common sense. Can’t get off the couch without having a laughing fit and stumbling to the kitchen for cheeseballs? Maybe driving to Taco Gel isn’t the best option quite yet. Give it a while and keep munching on those cheeseballs for now. Is it Halloween? Obviously there will be plenty of cops out. Maybe smoke at the house before driving to the party, so the car doesn’t reek. Want to get high after school or work? Run home right quick and grab those nuggets.

Safety is worth it. Weed isn’t legal in Miami yet and until next year comes around, we won’t know how soon it will be.

Stay informed and stay safe so you can be free to toke another day.

giphyShare your tips & stoned stories! Submit to Stoned Story Time, email us at [email protected]

Stay tuned for the next TropiCanna, this is Emma Jane signing off and smoking out.