Tropicanna:Stoned StorytimeMy First Time

Reader Submission

The recently past 4/20 was a great one for the country. It was the first time so much legal herb was smoked in the United States. Footage is all over YouTube of revelers walking through outdoor celebrations and open marijuana markets, buying and smoking their favorite plant. But not here in South Florida. Or any of Florida for that matter. Cannabis remains medically and recreationally illegal here, along with the other 26 prohibition states. Unfortunate, but the herb is slowly becoming more accepted. Patience.

On a chipper note (sort of), we received our first reader submission here at the Tropi-Canna branch of Tropicult! It’s the bummed out tale of a young lady who wanted to give weed a shot, but had her experience botched by a silly boy and the pitfalls of social media. Check it out!

Also, see: Stoned StorytimeTropiCanna: An Introduction

Dear Tropi-Canna,

My first time trying pot was on 4/20, my freshman year of high school. This guy was trying to impress me by smoking me out to a DIY Coca-Cola bong he made. It didn’t go well.


The music was good, the herb was bad, the guy was even worse, and the whole thing still ended with me getting in deep shit.

The longterm result is that I smoke pot all the time now. In the short term, the result was nothing less than a bummer.

Anyway, where were we? Oh right. Horrible high school dude + adolescent desire = try to get me high with a bootleg water pipe. As you read this, the same scenario is definitely happening in backyards and obscure chill spots all over the world.

Onwards and downwards.

After taking three hits off the “bong,” he started acting differently and saying things like “Yo Im so stoned,” but I didn’t feel much different. In fact I felt nothing, so I continued to tell him that.

His enthusiasm for being “so stoned” wasn’t rubbing off on me. The new plan of action would apparently be: try to convince me that music would help the herb sink in. I gave it a chance.

He played “Careful with that Axe Eugene” by Pink Floyd. Probably one of their creepiest songs. It didn’t do what he said it would, but I thought it was cool nonetheless. Lucky for him, my musical taste was better informed than the average high school girl. Musical selection notwithstanding, so far the night was an anti-climax.


Next came some trippy YouTube videos to see if I could be tranced into a blaze of highness… still nothing. Maybe weed was a hoax? By that point I had forgotten why I even agreed to chill with this guy. Fortunately, he could tell the night was wrapping up and I went home soon after.

My mom opened the door and it hadn’t occurred to me that I might reek if she hugged me. Of course she hugged me, and immediately started questioning me about where I was and what I was doing. Though caught off guard, I squirmed my way out of imminent danger using fight-or-flight verbal gymnastics.

Key word, “imminent.”

I was finally relaxed for the night, when an hour later the guy posted a Facebook picture of me blowing out smoke. Why, pray tell, did he do such a thing? Because he thought it “looked cool..” Wow.

With my luck, my mom found the picture before I did and blew up on me. It was a ridiculous first time. I got caught and I also didn’t get high at all because the guy’s idea of smoking me out was taking 3 hits from his soda bottle bong and then posting incriminating pictures of me on the internet.

Ms. Dankly Disappointed

Ouch! That sounds like a pretty rough first time, but I for one am glad that Ms. Dankly found it in her to give it a second try…and a third…and a thirtieth.

To all you young ladies (and fellas for that matter) out there who want to try weed, please follow these three tips to ensure an elevated mind state and a better sense of security:

1. Procure your cannabis from a trusted source, and do research to know what it should look/smell like, and cost.tumblr_nhd92fbYrM1qmo0obo1_540

This can be hard in a state where herb is still totally illegal, but it’s not impossible to equip yourself with the knowledge required to tell if your weed is at all good. Don’t let some random guy smoke you out to his bunk herb – he may not have your health or enjoyment on his priority list!

2. When you smoke and get high for the first time, do it with trusted friends in a comfortable setting. This totally increases the likelihood that you’ll have a great time, free of worry and uncomfortable vibes.tumblr_mzog7t3XUA1s4jhyyo1_500

If going into public isn’t ideal, remember to stock up on plenty of drinks for that dry mouth and food for those munchies! Some good entertainment doesn’t hurt, either.

3. No pictures! In this day and age of social media, incidents like Ms. Dankly’s are becoming more commonplace. For your personal and professional image and security, make sure that no pictures are taken of illicit behavior. Even if it’s for a limited exposure medium like Snapchat, still be careful as people can screenshot those images and plaster your baked face all over the interwebs! Unless you’re comfortable and established enough to feel free voicing your activism and pot consumption, it’s best to play it safe.

Thanks for reading this installment of Tropi-Canna: Stoned Storytime!

To submit your story to Stoned Storytime, email: [email protected]