Two BadApplesSpoils a Lunch

Fruit Blogger Takeover continues: Talks about the fruit of knowledge + Bonus Feature

Josh Malina is a fruit blogger who also sometimes eats other foods. These posts were originally published last year to the fruit community in Charlottesville, VA.  We can only hope that his journey continues here in Miami.


Where do you shop, girl?


When Eve ate from the tree of knowledge, I know that she saw the world differently. But did she figure out how an apple should taste?

Well, if the Garden of Even were located at the Whole Foods on 29, I wouldn’t hold out hope. The conventionally grown, New Zealand Fuji and Gala apples are underwhelming at best, and tasteless at worst.

Now, readers of this blog will know that I like WF. Indeed, I endorse their stone fruit. But their apple game is weak.

Whole Foods Conventional Fuji – New Zealand ($1.78/lb)

These Fuji apples look pretty. But how do they taste?* 
*They’re from NZ … the placard was mislabeled


I ate this first, immediately after buying it. I’m willing to concede that it could have been riper. But how do you gauge the ripeness of a perfect looking apple? If you have any idea, please let me know in the comments. The texture was great – very crispy, and the juice levels were appropriate. But it was just barely sweet.

Kind Price Sweetness Juiciness Texture Recommend
Fuji $1.78 / lb Faintly Sweet Juicy Crisp  No


I can’t recommend this apple because I refuse to believe that it’s the best we can do. But, if you’re satisfied with a good crunch, and a decent amount of juicy, then this isn’t a terrible purchase – especially at $1.78 / lb.

Whole Foods Conventional Royal Gala – New Zealand ($1.78/lb)

Gala apples at Whole Foods … look but please don’t eat.* 
*They’re from NZ … the placard was mislabeled

This was a pretty apple. It shined. It felt good in my hand. It looked like an apple you’d give a prize-winning pig. And maybe he’d like it.

But I didn’t.

Despite its looks, it tasted like water and was, in fact, a little mealy. Don’t buy this apple, people. In a world with so much good fruit, this was a waste of an appetite.

Kind Price Sweetness Juiciness Texture Recommend
Royal Gala $1.78 / lb Tasteless Juicy A tad bit mealy  No


Bonus feature: Listen to the raw recording of me reviewing this apple: 

Love, Josh

Contact Josh about fruit or non-fruit at [email protected].