Just weeks into your New Year’s diet, you’re counting down the days for your scheduled “cheat day” to arrive. The anxiety builds, and you’re asking yourself, “Where do I eat? What do I eat?’” That drunken Taco Bell run just won’t suffice. But I got you; those #fitfam instagram posts are about to go 0 to 100 real quick. So grab your stretchiest sweat pants and nosh out to one of my “Top Cinco” Cheat Day Meals. May your emaciation emancipation be savory, sinful and god damn filthy.
1. MIAMI CULINARY TOURS
For some of us, our “cheat day” extends the full 24 hours. This requires strategy. The key is reaching maximum capacity without compromising quality or your wallet.
To maximize your cheat day, try one of Miami Culinary Tour’s foodie roundabouts and eat your way through Little Havana, Wynwood or South Beach. Each tour includes 5 restaurant stops which will leave you glutted, sloshed and ready for a nap.
Also, see: Miami Culinary Tours: Making Your Cheat Day Worthwhile
For reservations, visit: miamiculinarytours.com
2. NEME’S GASTROBAR
If you’re looking for that finger lickin fun, it’s all about Neme’s Gastrobar. The culinary newcomer is dishing out motherf*cking peanut butter and jelly chicken n’ waffles. Two of your childhood favorites coexisting on one plate, all sexed up to satisfy your “adult” palate.
3. PASEO CATRACHO
If cheese is what you crave, Baleadas bitches. Carne asada, refried beans, queso and crema all neatly folded into one massive tortilla envelope. My Baleada recommendation is Paseo Catracho, grab some authentic Honduran fare (perhaps a side of queso frito for good measure) and a cold beer. Don’t be shy, lick that spoon girllll.
4. BEAKER & GRAY
For the pièce de résistance, Beaker and Gray’s luxurious Pumpkin gnocchi hits all the right notes. Pork rib sits atop of a bed of gnocchi, well dressed in pumpkin sauce. Wash it down with one of their novel cocktails, and prepare yourself to want to bathe in the bowl.
For those of us who are balling on a budget (or inebriated), I suggest Casolas Pizzeria. They’re open late and provide free appetizers in the form of a sample tray (don’t lie, you’ve been that guy!). Nothing’s better than a ooey, gooey, hot slice of cheese pizza. Repeat after me, “carb cycling…carb cycling…carb cycling”, now go and grab yourself another sample.
For those of you who don’t make it back on the diet wagon, don’t fret, pizza loves you no matter what. For those of you that do, no one cares about your Tupperwared chicken and broccoli…
Really though, we don’t. Stay greasy!