Nice Melons

Fruit Blogger Takeover Continues: Disobeys Mother - Slightly

Josh Malina is a fruit blogger who also sometimes eats other foods. These posts were originally published last year on Chirbah, for the fruit community in Charlottesville, VA.  We can only hope that his journey continues here in Miami.

Buy the Golden Dew Honeydew from Walmart — it’s amazing


My mom wouldn’t let me call this blog “nice melons”, but I have to take my kicks where I can get them in this dog eat dog world so here we go.

After weeks of ups and downs in peaches and plums, and a similarly spotty tour de watermelon, I’ve been gladdened and surprised to have not hated any of the honeydew or cantaloupe I’ve been eating.

All have been ok, good, or great. Why!?!?

Golden Dew (Golden Honeydew)

Looks like a cantaloupe, right? Well son, that there is a Golden Dew.

Let me introduce you to the Golden Dew. It’s a honeydew, but instead of a familiar greenish hue, this one’s skin is bright gold! And boy, they are just as sweet.

My colleague Suzan got it … and I have to swallow before I say this … at Walmart! Ugh, I’m sick with how good this melon was.

I just called Walmart on Monday (July 31st) and they are still in stock. I couldn’t stop eating this melon and I wasn’t even hungry. It was extremely sweet — medicinal, almost — with a bit of a chalky aftertaste. But great.

Conventional Cantaloupe from Kroger

Not a bad melon, but not a good one either. Cheap, though.

This was a big melon. And a very ripe one. It made my car smell like compost. But it wasn’t really a nice melon. Like I wouldn’t see it at the store and say, “Hey, nice melon. You come here often?”

But for $1.99, I think it’s ok to expect a little less. It won’t have you coming back for more the way Walmart melons do — but toss it into a blender with a couple of peaches and a dollop of yogurt and you’ve got yourself a nice slice of summer.

So buy it if you plan to mix it with things, or you don’t mind mediocrity, or if your body is not a temple. But I can’t recommend it on its own.

TJ’s Organic Little Cantaloupe

Looks pretty, don’t it? Some people even like it.

I had a good feeling about this melon. I was gunning for TJ to come through on at least one piece of fruit this summer. But the people have spoken, and they aren’t making it easy.

Half my colleagues recommend it, and half don’t. It’s a tie, and I’m the only one at the Chirbah office today, so I guess I’ll decide. Even though it’s not a bad melon — heck I thought it was sweet enough – at $3.49 each, these little organic cantaloupes are not big enough or tasty enough to be worth it.

It’s a sober, staid decision — but sometimes we must rule with our heads and not our hearts. I’m sorry TJ, but another one bites the dust.

Love, Josh

Contact Josh about fruit or non-fruit at [email protected].